


The Greaser and The Crab

by Two_Moirails_Type



Category: Homestuck
Genre: FTM Karkat Vantas, Humanstuck, M/M, Trans Character, Yoga, crokat - Freeform, highschool, karkats fine ass
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-07
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-06-06 22:59:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6773764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Two_Moirails_Type/pseuds/Two_Moirails_Type
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A certain Vantas is hiding the fact he was born a female and identifies as male but cannot get the sex change until he is 18, but when the Ampora's move to town from Italy a certain crab finds an interest in Cronus Ampora.</p><p>First story, just because this ship needs more fics</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

==> be Karkat Vantas 

You are Karkat Vantas, a well beloved insomniac boy that hates his fucking genitals and name. You are a ginger, mexican, short guy and you failing in all your classes with the help of your tormenting peers. There are a few to bring a smile around, one being a boy named Dave Strider, and another boy named Sollux Captor. A boy named Gamzee Makara tries and is an asshole for trying. You mostly hang out with guys trying, to hide your birth gender, your binder doing most of the hiding for you. Now, you use a deep tone in your voice, it being loud to hide the actual feminine pitch you have, here and there you will squeak as if you are hitting puberty, but it’s only because of your voice getting pretty raspy. Well you are on your way to the bus stop. As you are heading in that direction you notice that for sale sign on the big house near your own is gone. You wonder which sad, cranky, no-kids, sap bought it this time. You look and see at a window a decently muscled… man? He looks to be a man but has the face of a teen. You look and try and get a better view, but as you try, some idiot walks in front of your view with a purple scarf to big for his fucking neck, you might as well just strangle him with it. As you start to reach for the two ends of the scarf you look up to see a boy about your age he looked kind of tan and really snobby.

“Wwhat are you starin at you fuckin peasant” you have never heard that accent, so he definitely is new. You stop reaching and turn around.

“That old house. The only guys that but that have no children and are so fucking dissatisfied with life. And excuse you I am not a peasant you fuckweed.” you yell in the most manliest tone you can (which is manly as shit. You deserve an award), you look behind you and see a sly grin on his face which sends shivers down your spine, you are too busy to deal with his bullshit so you slide your headphones on and wait for the bus. As the bus finally arrives you climb on feeling a slight tap on you rump you look to see who's behind you and it’s the same new kid that you nearly strangled. You shake your head and go to your seat. You sit and draw little characters on the window as the bus approaches hell. 

==> Be the manly teen in the window of the house

You are Cronus Ampora, a foreign exchange student. You absolutely hate your brother. He’s an idiot. Lucky for you, you were held back so you now have to deal with his stupid ass for another year or two before you can move out. Apparently, you have your first period free. You decide to stay home and drive to school later. Great idea on your part. Well you thought. Turns out the movers would be home with you. Ew. You do not want any of these assholes taking your shit. That would be bullshit. Well, you weren’t ready for school. Another good reason you stayed home. You looked out the window at the (probably fucking stupid) teens, each one getting to the bus. You spot Eridan. Fuck that guy. You feel watched. Not a good feeling. Especially before you do your hair in your signature slicked back look. Hopefully no one saw. You yawn, catching a whiff of your horrible breath. Well, time to shower and brush your teeth.

 

You brush your teeth before undressing and hoping in the shower, only taking a moment to wash off before shutting off the water and getting out. You dry off and go to the counter to get your- where is it. Oh hell no. Where the fuck is your hair gel. You can’t deal with this bullshit. You go to your new room and slip on some boxers. Yeah that’ll do. Just for now. You look through the boxes to find your (beloved) hair gel. After a solid five minutes, you let out a victory whoop. 

Fuck. You take it back. That's not your hair gel. Thats ‘massage oil’. Won't work. You keep searching for another five. FINALLY. You find it. You take your one true love and bring it to the bathroom. Sighing, you squirt some on your fingers and rub your hands together before slicking your hair back, picking your comb up from the counter to make it look classier. It works. And Cronus Ampora is ready for the world- well you still need clothes. Meh. You go and quickly put on the rest of your clothes. 

“Cazzo, sono in ritardo” you mutter as you struggle to put on your pants, looking at the clock. Late. fuck. You almost trip while getting your pants on. You're an Ampora. You survive. You run out the door the minute you're dressed, rushing to get in the car and start it. You buckle up (because safety is first) before driving off to your new high school.


	2. 2

⇒ become the asshole ginger

As you return as Karkat you have finally arrived at the glory hole called ‘school’. You walk in, it’s a new school year and every year when the school season comes about new students come to your school. Now, some new students haven’t been… as bad per say… except that one family, the Makaras.. The main Makara that has taken most of your anger is a stoner named Gamzee. You wish to not get into it. As you enter the school and go to your locker you see a small little note crammed in the little slit of the locker, now you wouldn’t lie you do occasionally get a small love note here and there from others.Some bring a small blush to your face but you haven’t found your one yet. As you look at the note instantly off the bat it's on a yellow sticky note with dark yellow writing, definitely Captor. You sigh opening your locker and taping it to the inside of the door of your locker where the others are. You don’t like your friends like that, and if you did it’d be too awkward to be hanging out with them. You sigh and start heading to your first classes. They’re all the same as last year when you started high school, you do roll call and learn about the teachers… greaaaat…

Around lunch time you sit normally where you always do with your friends but in the corner of your eye you notice… The manly teen in the window? He’s going to your school? You shake your head and sigh in defeat wanting to see a better closer view. You get up and walk over to where he is and sit next to him. You didn’t really know what to say but you had to break the ice…

“Uh..Hi. I'm...fuck- I'm Karkat Vantas.” You did it you said your name now hopefully he’ll say his. He looks at you with a smile and introduces himself by taking and shaking your hand.

“The names Cronus, you can call me ‘the man of your dreams’” he fucking winks. Right off the bat you’re curious of his accent as well, and he sure as hell is not the ‘man of you dreams’. Yet.

“Well, now that sharing our ‘names’ is over, are you related to that douchebag with a huge ass scarf wrapped around his neck; I'm so fucking tempted to strangle him with it. If you are, do I have permission to strangle him?” you said as you wish his response to be both yes.

He snorts. “Yeah I am. And kid, that’s my job. If ya do, don’t be too rough or my dad’ll sue” You nod in fear not wanting to be sued… You sighed and smiled slightly looking over at your friends and seeing Sollux with a guilty look. You giggled quietly and waved at them barely, they waved back and you turned back around and he was gone… Little fucker left, you frowned and walked back over to your friends to eat your lunch.

==> be mister greaser

You quickly and quietly got up as the kid- Karkat. His name was Karkat wasn’t it?- was turned around. Why he sat with you was a mystery. Why you left was one to him. Probably. When you shook his hand, you wanted to ask what fucking lotion he used. You didn’t. You noticed his laugh, it was… well it was girly. Not that you were complaining. Maybe he hadn’t hit puberty yet- but his voice was pretty deep. You shrug it off. Where are you going. Fuck. Where are you going? Uh. haha shit. You go to what you believed to be your locker. You weren’t sure. Uh okay how to locker. Fuck. you were not built for this. You pull out the slip of paper with the combination and fiddle with the lock. You are so fucking lost right now. Oh wait wrong locker. You move to your actual locker. Nice going Cronus. Sigh. Your locker was next to one covered in yellow and kind of purple sticky notes. Oh hell no. You enter the combination. It opens and sweet baby jesus. You feel accomplished. You deserve an award. Oh right. Its empty. You stare into the locker that’s just about as eventful as your life right now. Welp. You steal one of the notes just so your locker isn't lonely Yeah, that’s good. You’ll bring your materials for actual learning tomorrow. Wait shit you didn’t eat. Well you can’t go back now. Ugh.you’ve doomed yourself. You’re hungry. Eh whatever. You go to the lunch room and get a sandwich. Good enough. Maybe he didn’t see you. Home free. Go Cronus. You can’t see him and he can’t see you. You eat and check your schedule. It’s gym! You think maybe you’ll go lure some bitches in with your squats. You are a great athlete. You’re sure your dad got your athletics clothes in the school. Where’s the locker room. You need a map. You walk around and follow the pure stench of body odor. Gross. 

You soon reach the gym and you nearly throw up. Disgusting. It smells as you expected, like absolute shit. You make your way to the locker room and wonder where the fuck your locker is. The lockers are pretty far up and you can't see over them. So you just walk through the rows of lockers, humming a tune to yourself. It smells like axe and dumpster in here. So basically every 9th grader ever. Ew. You continue your walking.

Then you see the guy from lunch. Dude you aren't going to kinkshame. But that's totally a man bra. Like a man sports bra. You fucking hide. Nope. He’ll be like ‘blah blah why did you ditch blah blah’ like everyone you've ditched.

“Go ahead and cry little girl Nobody does it like you do I know how much it matters to you I know that you got daddy issues” he sings in soprano. You haven't seen a dude sing that well in soprano. Other than Eridan but he's a fucking mouse. Sounds like one at least. Okay well you're just going to listen and watch. He’ll never know. Karkat turned around and jumped freezing on the next word “And if you were my little girl- who the fuck are you?!”

Shit. Okay you fucked up. Time to look cool. You straighten your (totally cool) leather jacket and look him up and down. Yep. “We've met. I'm the man of your dreams. Remember me now?” You want to comment on the song but you don't. That would be awkward.

 

“Oh Cronus… well would you like go somewhere else I'm busy getting u-uhm changed” well you had no fucking idea that he was changing. That was a lie. It was obvious 

“Oh wow I had no fucking idea. Where's locker-” you pull out the sheet and laugh “69- fuck I got the sex locker.” He just glares at you for a minute. Well don't make a sex joke while someone's changing.


	3. 3

==> be Kar-nubs

You don’t care. You are too angry and fed up with this dick. You grab him by his shirt. 

“While i’m changing you do not, I REPEAT, do not make jokes about sex! Am i cLEAR?!”

The dick just laughs. “Crystal.” you know he’ll do it again.

You snort and let go sliding a shirt on. “Turn around so i can finish dressing!”

He just turns around. You turn around but first get a real quick look at his choice ass then turn back around and start pulling off your pants. You forgot to wash boxers so you are in panties, the stupid ones that have frills, your father bought them for you a while back, before you came out. 

Cronus turned around with you noticing watching you strip. He commented on the frilly panties, “Cute, those belong to your sister?” he snorts. You grunt in frustration.

“No, I don’t have a sister! Now I said turn, AROUND!” You yell glaring.

“So its a kinky thing then?” he turns around to actually face you.

“No, i- i can’t tell you cause you don’t need to know and you strange pervert!” You yell putting your basketball shorts on and rushing out before he can speak. You can’t tell him you’re a female by birth, that’d be stupid. Plus he more than likely would spread rumors… greaaat another fuck up in your life. You sigh and head out to the gym. It’s annoying not telling your friends your secret and having to make sure you don’t scream it out at strangers. You sigh and hear footsteps come from the locker room, welp he’s following you.

“Strut esso gattino” he chuckled probably making a face like ;). You growl and hear your friends walking through the door. You run to them freaking out panting. They ask what’s wrong you give no response and just walk with them. You need to avoid him now, he is weird as fuck, he’s a fuckin perv, and didn’t back then they caLLED GIRLS KITTEN?! You start freaking out and screaming in your head. God dammit!!

==> be greaser that called kk kitten

Shit. You fucked up. You soooo fucked up, You couldn’t fuck up harder if you tried. Well maybe you could. Didnt matter. You still fucked up.   
Hard  
You don’t think you can recover from this one. You panicked. You swear. You didn’t give a fuck if he wore panties, they were cute. Fuck he was cute. You were not going to deny it. You could write an essay on how cute he was. But that can wait a chapter. You know you have no chance with a cutie like him. None. at all. You fucked it up. At least you could watch his cute little ass as he walks away- what no. cronus. No. Sei morto. Fuck. okay. Get it together. Breathe in. breathe out. You know what seems great? Skipping gym. You know what you’re gonna do? Skip gym. Whoop de do. This is your life. You fucked up. Are you proud dad? No. he’s not. He’s only proud of his fucking pasta. Rude. Nevermind any of that. It doesn’t matter. You ruining your chances matters. It’s not like you can fi- motherfuck. How could you be so stupid. You realize you’re still in your normal clothes. Fuck. okay priorities. Karkat or clothes. Uh. fuck. It’ll seem more romantic if you’re in normal clothes. Ew. wait cute guys dig shitty romance stuff. right?  
Whatever. You go off in the direction the cutie went off in, humming lazily as some assholes who were earlier than you just laugh because you are still in normal clothes. Okay now where’s Karkat..? Shit okay he’s with people. That makes your life a lot harder. Uh okay you slowly approach them. Very slowly. Even though you stuck out like a green dick in an orgy. Oh well you thinK he can see you now. Maybe his friends can. You walk over. You’re sure you can feeeeeel the tension. And you could cut it with safety scissors. Welp. you take a breath.  
“Hey chief can we talk?”

“Why the hell do i want to talk to you?!” he nearly yells. Well you found a loophole..

“You tell me. Why do you want to talk to me?” you smirk.

“I- i don’t fuck im meaning why do you want to talk to me i have nothing to say to you you pompous asshole?!” you smile. You just smile. Those two things are unrelated.

“I have something to say to you. Don’t care if you have nothin to say to me.” you shrug and pull out your comb, fixing your hair. 

“Well go ahead you idiot i don’t fucking care but go ahead.” He looks at you with a glare, his arms crossed, but you can see in his eyes a hint of want.

Perfect, you still have a chance. “Well can we not talk here?”

“Fiiiine, but don’t do anything you might regret” He smirks slightly getting up and walking out the gym door.

“What ‘might I regret’?” you snort 

“Things… now hurry up and tell me what you want…” he growls with a sly smirk.

 

“Maybe I’ll tell you if you answer my question” was he being stubborn or flirting? The world may never know.

“U-uh fine you might lose your chance of being my friend or anything else for that matter.” He said with a slight blush too hard to see but you could see. 

“Dollface, I ain’t interested in your ‘friendship’” FINGER QUOTES and boy, were your fingers moving. “I’m here to apologize”

“Oh well I’m sorry I snapped at you back there…” he said with sadness in his eyes from the friend rejection. He looked down at the floor avoiding your gaze.

“I ain’t interested in it but I’ll take it if it’s what I can get” he perked up at you saying that. That’s the ticket to the cute smile.

“Great just don’t try to ever talk about kinks around me it’s weird and awkward…” You roll your eyes.

“Weird and awkward are my middle names” you wink. Why. You’re fucking up again. He blushes and turns around walking back into the gym.

Wait no fuck. “Wait can i come with ya? After i change that is”. It was to late he had gone back in. Fuck.. You go and change into shitty ass clothes to do some shitty ass sports As you are doing those sports you watch the crabby kid, staring at his plush ass. So plush. You’d tap that. Well now is not the time for an internal monologue about how perfect he is. He needs teeth work but whatever. Still cute.


	4. 4

==> be mc nubs

You hate these fucking nicknames. You are pissed but yoga will always help that stress. You sigh and begin doing your yoga, following the coach and feeling a pair of eyes on you, you turn and notice Cronus watching. Just what you needed a pervert looking at you. You think he is starting to get suspicious, from the girly giggle, the soprano singing, and you wearing panties today- ITS NOT YOUR FAULT! YOU CANT PUT PADS ON BOXERS!- You start stressing more, freaking out slightly. You keep your cool not needing the guys knowing you’re stressed. You keep doing yoga with him still staring at you, which makes you think he is staring at your ass, well if he’s gonna stare you're just gonna sit and do yoga positions that way. You look again and he’s pouting. Perfect! That’ll get the perv from looking. Dave strider walks your way in front of you too ask a question.

“Hey Karkles, you know your eyes sparkle, we should play farkle, and you go on a date with me-kle” he keeps his cool-kid face on. Fucking nerd. You turn him down.

“Yea no thanks, got too many things to worry about than some stupid date…” you sigh and get up turning around and crashing into Cronus. Is he now a stalker or some shit? You growl getting up once again and walking off, you need to go outside and blow off some steam.

After you ask permission and walk out you begin to start running laps thinking your decisions over. Before you know it it’s near time to head to whatever class is next. You enter back in and wait for the boys in the locker room to leave, once they have gone you go into the locker room and begin to change. Singing again, you head out once done changing grabbing your school bag and head for: science. 

Science wasn’t all too bad you had that one kid you bumped into in this class, his name was Eridan wasn’t it? He looked pretty happy about something? You shrugged it off he was your science partner that’s all that mattered. And you have to admit he is pretty hot. You kinda scoot closer but not much where he notices and you listen to the teacher, Eridan looks a lot similar to Cronus which makes him more interesting, here and there throughout class you bump hands and drop a few things resulting in you both becoming messes.

==> Become the jealous jacket one

After you had witnessed some fuckboy horribly ask Karkat out, you were kind of baffled. You were very very very very very confused when Karkat ran into you and then stormed off. What the fuck did this douchebag do to piss karkat off. Because it wasn’t your fault….right? Eh oh well. You gave that jerk a long and hard talk about respecting dibs. By long and hard you mean, short and probably frightening. Point Ampora. You let that douche go and head off to your next class, history. Fuck. you decide to ditch and research ways to make someone forget your first impression. Well you’re not using spellcraft. That’s above your head. And you can’t hypnotize him. And you can’t wait 10 years. The best you can do is embarrass yourself so hard that he feels bad for your ass- HAHAHAH as if. Well fuck. You could do loads of good things? Buy him all the kinky pan-no. No he got mad when you brought that up. oH FLOWERS. Bitches love flowers. He ain’t a bitch tho. Hed’ be a classy ass manly ass dicky bitch. Maybe lilacs. Yeah. lilacs. You can grow him a little garden in a terrarium. You'll be the best fucker around. Maybe you'll make that essay about why he's so perfect? Maybe. That's sappy. It would start like this ‘Your name isn't karkles-its Karkat- and your eyes do sparkle but that's not the point here. I don't like farkle and you don't have to date me’ hah yeah that’s how you’ll start it.because you’re not a fucking douche ba--... okay whatever. Well you aren’t a fake hoe. Thats for sure. Okay maybe sometimes. But that's okay. We all have our bad moments. Right? Yeah


End file.
